Exhibit B

It's been awhile. Did you know that working full time takes up most of your day? It does. I forgot that, somehow. Anywho, on with the story. I was visiting my dad at his work the other day (he is a pharmacist). We were chatting in the little side room dubbed the "Patient Consultation" area. Really, it just consists of two office chairs stacked next to each other and a blood pressure machine. A phone call came in for him, so, as any good daughter would do, I waited patiently in my chair until my padre was finished.

As I was waiting, I noticed an older gentleman shuffling in my general direction with his grocery cart. His t-shirt read: "Property of My Grandchildren." You know that inner voice I get? It came back--and it said the same thing to me as last time: "This is going to be good" (I tell ya, I'm getting real good at detecting these people)! Well, it was good because the next thing I knew, the man had parked his cart full of groceries, and was slipping his arm into the blood pressure cuff machine that was within INCHES of my body. I thought he was reaching for my neck at first! It all happened so fast! It was a complete and utter invasion of my "space bubble," and if I were in elementary school again, I would have sent him an "I message" telling him: "Sir, I don't like it when you sit this close to me. Can you please stop?" Really, if I would have stayed where I was, our knees would have "kissed." But don't worry, I did what any of you would have done and hopped right out of that chair and bee-lined it to the pharmacy to get away from No Space Bubble Man.

I hope I didn't hurt his feelings (actually he was oblivious as most of these people are), but I just found it so weird that a complete stranger would have no second thoughts about practically sitting on another strangers lap just for a blood pressure reading. Couldn't it wait? I mean, really? One more lap around the store wouldn't have hurt him? Then he could have had all the time he needed to take that blood pressure. No?

I did get a picture of this fiasco with my cell phone (him sitting at the blood pressure machine and the vacant chair) so that I could show you all that there was, indeed, a breech of "space." However, my phone seems to have gone missing...again. Another day. But think of me the next time you're at your local grocery store and see one of those blood pressure machines...and then locate the closest chair and picture yourself in it. Would it be a "breech of space?" Weirdo. Until next time...

Exhibit A

I was walking to my car from Fred Meyer's the other day. With my groceries in tote, I noticed a woman pulling her cart between my car and the one parked next to it with what seemed to be great speed and poor control. She was headed for the "Return Carts Here" bin. I immediately thought, "This is going to be good."

Sure enough, this stranger didn't disappoint as I watched her drag the edge of the shopping cart along our bumper. It was an ugly sound, and an even uglier scene when she left several permanent scrapes. It gets better...the woman sees me approaching, ditches her cart, and without even a passing glance hops into the passenger side of her vehicle and speeds away with the help of her accomplice (husband)--ok, she didn't really speed away, but c'mon! Unbelievable. It's OK strange lady. We don't take much pride in our 1997 Honda Accord anyway. The dings and dents you left just give it that added character, along with the duct tape on our front passenger headlight. And really, I didn't expect you to make eye contact with me, let along apologize for something that was clearly your fault. With that being said, have a great day, Cart Lady...and remember, what goes around, comes around!

The Inaugural Post

It's true. I've started yet another blog--as if one wasn't enough to somehow satisfy my craving for attention (I'm kidding). However, this blog was born for one purpose and one purpose only: to chronicle my daily encounters with the world's most ridiculous people (and let me tell you, I've met some real gems). Before the shenanigans ensue, let me state a few things:

1. The older I get, the more I realize we are surrounded by less than intelligent people (this seems to be a unifying and universal experience among friends and family alike). On a daily basis, I (or my husband, for that matter) meet/cross paths with/drive behind at least one person who I just want to take by the shoulders and shake...hard. Sometimes I even want to use swear words, but refrain because as my mother would say, "I know better."

2. Please know that as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I whole-heartedly believe that God loves every single person perfectly and impartially. However, I also firmly believe that our loving Heavenly Father has a sense of humor and at times must look down at this vast planet and all its inhabitants and shake his head in disbelief as we exercise our agency. Am I right? Am I?

3. This blog is not intended to degrade or "tear apart" other individuals...just their behavior.

4. In no way do I intend this blog to be utilized as a pedestal or "soap box" (ok, maybe a soap box). I AM NOT PERFECT NOR DO I CLAIM TO BE. I do not look upon myself as "higher up" or "better" than those individuals I will relate stories about.

5. I love to laugh. I do it all the time. In fact, I believe this is why my husband fell in love with me. Sometimes, I think said husband and I laugh too much at some not-so-appropriate moments, but alas, that's why we're married...because we can laugh at life...together.

6. Please feel free to leave your own personal "encounters" with choice members of society in the comments section of each post. I'll re-post my favorite anecdotes for review by my readers (all 3 of you).

7. And yes, I am aware that I have too much time on my hands. Leave me alone.

8. People really are unbelievable sometimes, aren't they? I mean, really?