Come, Come Ye Saints...or Don't

My husband, Jason, and I are devout members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That's right, we're "Mormons." In our faith, we dedicate our time and talents to the Church because it's the right thing to do, because we believe whole-heartedly in doing "good," because it feels great to do something for someone other than yourself, because that's what we learn at church (to serve others--by doing so, we are serving our Savior), and because (let's get real) we're secretly hoping for increased blessings from on High.

Jason joined the Church later in life, and to my complete amazement and admiration, has not faltered once in his Church service and testimony of the Gospel and Jesus Christ. This process has included him serving in some not-so-desirable positions such as teaching (and chasing) crazy seven-year-olds, and dealing with 11-year-old boy scouts. Yikes. And although my husband may lack skills in putting the toilet seat down, he makes up for it in the "Whining" department. In other words---HE DOES NOT WHINE. EVER. It has been a thrilling experience to watch him grow and serve as a real, live "Mormon" (he's better at it than I am, but don't tell him I said that).

Recently, Jase and I moved, and thus, found ourselves meeting at a new church building, at a new time, and with many new Mormons, and although I love my fellow Brothers and Sisters, they can be pretty weird (I can say that because I am one). Jason recieved a "calling" or volunteer position to teach a Sunday School class once a month...and to set up chairs every Sunday before church. This process involves getting to church 20 minutes early, and, you guessed it, setting up folding chairs in one room--simple enough, right? Teaching a group of grown men who have lived the religion for their entire lives would make anyone's palms sweat, especially a convert of only 3 years. But no, that hasn't really phased Jason...at all. What has got him worked up though? You guessed it--the chairs! Those darn folding chairs! Why? You ask? Well, let me tell you: Because people are selfish and ridiculous and I want flick them in the forehead somtimes.

This past week, Jason spent about 2 days, that's right, I said 2 days making phone calls to fellow church members to see if any of the men would take over his chair duty while we're visiting family. Mostly Jason just left a lot of messages and received no phone calls in return (typical). But there was one response that really got me going. You know when I said that Jason doesn't whine? Oh, well, I do. Oh, do I whine! I'm a master at it! And sometimes, there really isn't any other choice but to FREAK OUT about something or someone. This was the fellow church member's response to Jason's plea (ridiculous):

Church member (talking to Jason): "Um, well, I don't know. We don't really like to get the kids up earlier than they have to. And we don't like to take two cars if we don't have to, either. Yeah, so, I don't think so..."

Hmmm. Oh, really, Church member? Really? Yeah, I bet the early Saints of the Church didn't really want to watch their homes be burned to the ground, or walk thousands of miles in extreme heat and/or cold only to arrive in the Salt Lake Valley where they had to start from scratch, to build church buildings and homes and businesses with their bare hands...and that's if their hands hadn't been amputated from frost bite! I bet they didn't want to have to watch their kids starve or like to get them up early in the morning to bury their mother or father or sister or brother, either. Hey, Mr. Church member, I'm sure they didn't really like the fact that they had to leave nearly every earthly possession and suffer illnesses you and I know nothing of. Also, I bet those covered wagons and ox carts were real comfortable and warm and cozy, and it was just like driving a heated, upholstered car to church. Oh, wait. No. It wasn't like that AT ALL--AT ALL! Oh, and hey, Mr. Church member! I don't know if you knew this already, but we have one of the most incredible heritages as a religion, men and women who sacrificed EVERYTHING, and I do mean EVERYTHING, so that you and I could have a church building to set chairs up in. So, Mr. Church member, go ahead and stay home and don't come to church 20 minutes early to set up 50 folding chairs and don't teach your young children the value of service and sacrifice. We wouldn't want to inconvenience you. You big, idiot. Bless your heart, Mr. Church member, but in the words of Andie Anderson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, "I love you, but I don't have to like you right now." Sheesh.

Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Church member. I thought of one other person who probably did something for you that He didn't really "like" doing, but He did it anyway because that's the kind of perfect, loving person He was. I'll give you a hint. His name is contained in the word "Christmas" and his name isn't "mas." Just chew on that for awhile.

Merry Christmas! Until next time...;)