Dental Don'ts...To Be Continued

I've been seriously slacking! I don't know why. There are always ridiculous people to write about. Take today, for example. I am a dental hygienist, and in my line of work, I end up seeing some really disgusting things, things I won't describe to you for fear of making you nauseated. But today, a particular patient taught me (and now you) 2 behaviors NOT to do while seeing your dentist and/or dental hygienist. Mind you, this list is endless and I am only touching on the "tip of the iceberg."

1. We use an automated blood pressure cuff at our office to check each patient's blood pressure. On this particular patient, the cuff was not registering. I tried again. No dice. After the third attempt, I was ready to give up when the woman said, "Do you want me to just take off my sweatshirt?" I replied, "Sure, although sweatshirts usually don't get in the way." Before I knew it, this woman had stripped her arm out of her sleeve to reveal--NOTHING. As in there was no shirt or tank top or other article of clothing under the sweatshirt. There she sat, in her bra, belly bulging, white, bright, and covered in things I hope to never see on my body. Immediately, I had that conversation with myself (in my head, of course) It went a little something like this:

Rachel, remain calm. Do not try and understand why this woman feels OK with stripping down to her bra in a dental office. Do not act like it's a big deal even though every fiber of your being is telling you to look the other way. Do not attract attention to your operatory, and thus, alert the rest of the dental team to complete and utter confusion/shock. They will think that this was your idea if you do that! Just take the blood pressure and get the woman to put her freakin' sweatshirt back on. And remember, you are stronger for this!

2. Believe it or not, we made it through the cleaning, the exam, and all other festivities of fun that go along with a trip to the dentist. Prior to dismissing this same patient, I offered her a fluoride treatment to which she obliged. As I was preparing to place the foam fluoride trays in her mouth, she paused and looked straight ahead, as if needing a second to herself. I, too, then paused...and waited. With mouth wide open and me halfway reaching to squish the trays into place, she BELCHES. OUT LOUD. LIKE THIS: (think of the grossest burp you've ever heard). She then looks at me like, "What are you waiting for?" Clearly, she was ready for her fluoride treatment. Remain calm, Rachel. Remain calm. Deep breaths...no! Don't do that! You'll smell her disgusting burp! Just run...leave the fluoride to fend for itself. And save yourself...

OK. It wasn't THAT dramatic, but next time you go to the dentist, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT...

a) remove your clothing for any reason other than to be resuscitated by emergency personnel

b) Burp in the hygienist's face (or any other staff member for that matter)