Shut Up, Lady

7 AM is too early to see other people, let alone complete strangers. My first patient of the day must of known this because she was pushing ALL the right buttons--and I'm not talking about the ones that make the dental chair go up and down. I'm talking about my buttons, my "feisty, make-Rachel-grumpy" buttons. I wasn't going to write another "dental post," but people never. cease. to. amaze. me.

As the story goes, I was finishing up the cleaning on my first patient this morning. Mind you, she had already loudly articulated how much the x-ray sensor had cut into the bottom of her mouth when I was taking bitewings on her (as if I did this on purpose. Hey, lady. I got it! You ain't the only one who complains about this. Believe me, it's a dead and beaten horse). Also, this particular patient must have gone through her makeup drawer prior to her appointment to find her lip gloss that was the consistency of peanut butter (I think just to spite me). Because I just LOVE it when I get ooey-gooey gloss all over my gloves and consequently, everything else. That's right, lady. Lay it on thick. Thicker next time!

So, it shouldn't have surprised me when this patient said the following to me (key word being "shouldn't):

Me: "OK. I'm going to polish your teeth now."

Patient: "Ugh. FINALLY."

OK. Listen here, peanut butter lips. You've been lying in the chair for maybe--MAYBE--20 minutes, 25 minutes max. I highly doubt your comment of "FINALLY" was necessary as if you'd been imprisoned for thousands of years and you were lastly granted your long-delayed freedom. And, really? I mean, really? Is it THAT awful? Is it? Don't you expect to kind of lie in a dental chair for some period of time when you come to the dental office for a dental appointment. After all, that's why it's called an "appointment" because it is an "appointment of time!" What I really wanted to say to her, you ask? Something along the lines of "Shut up and just let me work" or "My sentiments exactly." But I didn't. Because I would have regretted it. Right? I would have regretted it? Hmmm...

Needless to say, I finished polishing Miss Naysayer's pearly whites and sent her on her whiney way. Boo wah.

Until next time ;)