You're Not Funny

I was at work today. Because that's what adults do (or so I'm told). I was working on a gentleman who was not so gentle at all, or rather, his words weren't gentle. He kept saying every two minutes"Are we done yet?" like it was the funniest and most clever thing he's ever heard. And like it was cute. Hey, hot shot. It's not cute. It isn't. It bothers me. Because I have a job to do. Because you don't understand what it's like to have to do something that majority of the general public has come to dread. Because you've already made it clear by your complete lack of dental hygiene that taking care of your teeth is not something you put very high on your Priority List in life. And answer me this, of the two of us in this room, do you honestly believe you're the one that wishes "we were done?" No. I am the one that desperately wishes "we were done" so that I wouldn't have to clean out that 8 mm pocket on the distal of 30 that's packed full of pus and last night's dinner. Got it? So, how about you zip it and let me do my job so I can stop courtesy laughing at your ridiculous and unoriginal "joke." Bless your heart.

And speaking of food, what is it with people thinking it's OK to come to the dentist with a mouth jammed full of their last meal? I mean, c'mon! I went to clean a lady's teeth today, and as I am looking around in her mouth, I noticed these orange, fleshy things caught between her teeth--all of them.

Me: Did you have cantaloupe before you came to your appointment today?

Patient: Oh. No. I had a carrot and some orange juice after I brushed my teeth.

Oh. OK. Wait. No. Really? You picked the two things out of thousands of foods that are infamous for getting stuck between teeth and you eat them AFTER you brush your teeth before coming to the dentist? Stringy carrots and orange pulp. Seriously. What a genius. Hey, I have an idea lady. I think we have some chicken in the break room. I'll just go stick it in a blender and let you mash on that for awhile so that I can pick it out from between your teeth, too. Sound like fun? This same patient went on to ask me about "grills" and how much they cost. Lady. No offense, but you do not fit the demographic description for a "grill." Case closed. Period. The end. So, don't even worry about it.

My sister-in-law texted me the other day. She lives in Boise. Her text said this: "Rachel. I just went into the public bathroom at work and a lady was in the stall talking on her phone! I immediately thought of you." I really hope Ashley thought of me because of my blog, and not because she grouped me among people like Bathroom-Stall-Chatty-Cathy? No, no. I'm pretty sure it was because of my blog. Right, Ash? Ash? I asked her if the lady at least washed her hands. But Ashley didn't stick around to find out. Good call, Ash. I wouldn't have, either. And you contacted the right authorities: Me.

Until next time...;)