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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Impatient Patient

My first patient this morning went a little like this (no, a lot like this):

Me: "Good morning, Mrs. Doe (don't worry, not her real name--no HIPAA violations here). Thanks for coming in bright and early to see us. We're going to start out with a panelipse xray this morning."

I then proceeded to escort Mrs. Doe to the pano room (this is the xray that goes around your head).

Me: "OK. I'm going to need you to remove your glasses and earrings."

Mrs. Doe: "ALL of them?!"

Me: "Yes. All four of your earrings (two in each ear) and your single pair of glasses." Of course, I did not say this out loud. I should probably make every effort possible to keep my job. But, boy, did I think it! And then I let myself carry on a pretend conversation in my head just for kicks and because it made me feel better about myself. It went like this:


Mrs. Doe (or shall I refer to you as Mrs. Don't),

Clearly you must have known some things were going to be required of you at this dental appointment (i.e. opening your mouth, carrying on a conversation or two, sitting still while I "clean" your teeth). Surely you removing four itty-bitty earring posts and a pair of glasses can not be THAT much of an inconvenience to you. I promise I'm not trying to swipe your gross earrings and granny glasses. I will give them back. And if I don't, then you can pitch a fit about me making you take them out. Now, just hand over the goods before this turns ugly (Yeah, right. I'm a lot of talk).
Some people. I swear. Why can't they just be perfect like me? (Sarcasm--and lots of it). Until next time...;)

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